While I know this is a blog for birth parents and birth mothers to share their experiences and stories as a birth parent, I wanted to take the time to share a story from an adoptive mother who is in an open adoption with her son’s birth mother and birth father. The bond she and the adoptive father developed for the child’s birth parents is very strong. The respect they have for them is endless. I wanted to share her words on this blog to show another perspective and to give you hope. As a birth mother, I found this short story very enlightening. I also found it very cool that they are getting matching tattoos!!
All my best,
Domestic Adoption Coordinator
Birth mother as well
After finally taking that leap of faith and submitting the adoption application you sit back and wonder what your journey will look like. No one could have possibly prepared us for the wide range of emotions we would encounter the following year. You begin in a class full of strangers, all from different backgrounds brought together because we all hope to gain insight on the confusing process of adopting. Fast forward awhile and you’re driving to meet an expectant mother and worrying about whether or not she will like you, or if you will have any common interests. Throughout our process Journeys has answered every question, been there through all the anxiety, and still remained neutral in the situation. We met Tiffany and Raf on a beautiful Spring day in a park, little did we know that these people would become so important to our family. At the end of our meeting we left knowing that something just felt right, and there were too many little “signs,” that led us to believe this was happening as it was meant to be.
One more meeting took place about a month before Ian was born, and once Ian was born we all had a couple days in the hospital to get to know each other more. We shared stories, laughed and even cried together. Journeys was right there with us to navigate the hospital stay, and just check in on everyone. We look at Ian now and can see both Tiffany and Raf in him, we can’t imagine our lives without Ian. This whole process has been a test of patience, willpower, and at times nerve wracking. However, we wouldn’t have changed a thing, we consider Tiffany and Raf to be extended family and we look forward to seeing them as often as possible. Our relationship with Ian’s birth parents grew throughout the 6 month matching period and we are forever grateful of that time to get to know them. Because of this we were able to development important milestones and symbols that represent our unique bond to them, even if it’s a simple as a sunflower. The story of the sunflower could be a whole separate paragraph, but we will just say this… Tiffany and Tara are now getting matching sunflower tattoos during our next visit. Some may call us crazy, but it’s our story.
As we spoke with other adoptive families, the one thing I’ve learned is that each family’s experience is so different. If we had any advice to offer potential adoptive families it would be “the only predictable thing about life, is that it’s unpredictable.” Take things one day at a time, and know that everything will work out as it should. We feel Journeys not only was a wonderful support to us, but provides amazing dedication and care to expectant mothers and are passionate about what they do. Thank you Journeys for helping us through our journey of adoption!
Daniel and Tara